About three weeks ago, Jesse and I stopped by the first house on our pick up list; a girl who we'll call Emily. Emily's next door neighbors have two teenagers who have come to Youth Group countless times so we pulled up a few feet and honked the horn.
"Carmen and Jose can't come." Emily informed us.
No one came out of the house to say otherwise, so we kept going. It's not uncommon for the guardians of the kids to keep them from coming to Youth Group. Its punishment, not being allowed to come to church. If they take away the kid's favorite thing, maybe the kid will stop getting in fights, maybe the kid will listen to them, maybe the kid will get better grades, and then maybe the school will stop calling them with complaints.
We ate dinner, played games, listened to Chuck teach the lesson, met in small groups to talk about the lesson and loaded back into the buses to take the kids home again. Emily, as always, was moving all around the bus socializing. Of course, she wasn't the only one. Most weeks my voice echos throughout the donated shuttle bus saying, "Sit down, DeShawn", "Theo keep your hands to yourself!", "Alize, you have to put your phone away!", "Brandon, watch your language!", "Everyone needs to quiet down!"People were quieter this week though, and attendance was low so things weren't quite so crazy. I gave Emily one last warning telling her she needed to stay in one seat and stop moving around so much. She plopped down next to me and finally quieted down.
The bus was nearly silent, but only because anyone who had a phone was on it. They like to think that they can be tricky, but the glare from the screen, the hunched shoulders, and the rapidly tapping fingers kinda, sorta, definitely gives them away. I know I should tell them to put the phones away, but silence is well... golden. So I silently traded them a few minutes of phone time for a few more minutes of quiet. Emily stared at me and I had a feeling she was about to tattle about the phones, which is a bit of a habit of hers. I closed my eyes and hoped she thought I was asleep. The bus rattled on down the road, I clenched my teeth to keep from accidentally biting my tongue as we turned onto the bumpy gravel road. I glanced at Emily, she wasn't staring at me anymore. I closed my eyes again.
Emily tapped my shoulder, "Morgan?"
"Yep?"
"I know why Carmen and Jose didn't come."
My heart skipped and I sat up straight. Like any sixth grade girl, Emily isn't good at keeping information to herself especially information concerning someone else. The fact that she hadn't told me as soon as we'd picked her up for Youth Group meant it must be serious. Also, Carmen and Jose's home situation hasn't been great to say the least. The thing that topped it all off, though, was the fact that Emily was whispering... well, trying to whisper anyway. She never whispers.
"It's Carmen. She wasn't at school either."
"Is she out of town?" Lord, please let her just be out of town.
Emily shook her head, "My mom saw her this morning. She was outside in her front yard and - you know how her stepdad is back now? Well he came outside and started yelling at her, telling her she can't be outside. She was explaining herself but he got more and more mad and he hit her. He hit her hard, Morgan. She fell to the ground and I think she was probably crying. Her mom watched from the doorways and kept Carmen's brothers behind her, trying to get them to stay inside so they wouldn't watch. Her stepdad yelled at her, he said she couldn't go to school now. Said he wouldn't let her go to school and snitch on him."
I couldn't think of anything to say. What could I say? "Everything will be okay" felt like a cliche lie. "I'm sorry" couldn't possible suffice. I turned around, ready to tell the kids to turn off their phones, suddenly hating the bitter silence.
The phones were already turned off. You could tell which kids had heard, they stared at the floor, the pain etched in their face. They could relate to Carmen.
"I'm going to be praying for Carmen and her family." I said softly.
Emily nodded.
The bus doors opened to let one of the kids off at their house.
We've gone by Carmen and Jose's house for the last three weeks. Every time, there are no kids to be seen. Every time, Emily reminds us that they've moved to Yakima, they're staying there with their aunt and uncle. Carmen has told me about her aunt and uncle in Yakima, they're nice to her. She's safe.
There are a lot of hard things about living on the Rez, but the hardest is seeing or hearing about a situation that's out of your hands. When you can't do anything but pray that the Lord will protect them and give you the faith to believe that He will.
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